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Best. Dog. Ever
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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Old Man Strength

If you've ever played rec basketball, or pickup basketball somewhere -  you know exactly what happened to the Miami Heat on Tuesday night. They got beat by an older, less athletic team. On paper, it never should have happened - but the games aren't played on paper.

We've all been there. We waltz into the gym with our buddies and see a team of guys in their mid 40's with short shorts, graying hair, ankle braces, goggles and mouth guards.



It's going to be too easy to play these cats. 10-2, maybe 10-3, and then we'll get on to the next game. But then the game starts. They're physical, they push you around. They set hard screens. They  make their mid range jimmies. They make the extra pass, and before you know it it's 9-5 and there's a crowd around your court watching a bunch of 20 something's about to get waxed by guys that are old enough to be their father.

Enter the Boston Celtics. All season long  they have been too old, too slow, past their prime, fading champions, whatever you want to call it. KG wasn't the same guy, Ray Allen missed chunks of time, Paul Pierce had too many miles on him, and Rajon Rondo couldn't do it all himself. Yet somehow, the Celts won the Atlantic Division comfortably, and were a four seed. They then had to play a six game series against the Hawks and a seven game series against the 76ers. Their reward? Playing these guys.



They stood no chance - and in games one and two, they were run out of the gym. Miami was fast breaking and high fiving all over your dad's Celts.


It was over. Until it wasn't over. Until Boston reminded everybody that experience, guts, guile and heart still count for something. Boston won game three at home. They won game four at home. Series is tied at two, but now we're headed back to Miami, so Miami should cruise, right? Wrong.



Paul Pierce and KG, both of whom have what LBJ does not, defied father time once more to expose the Heat for what they are. A pick up team with two great players, one good player and a bunch of guys picked up off the trash heap. Mike Miller? Juwan Howard???? Dexter Pitman???? I can just see the Indians Front Office from Major League -


Board Member #1: I've never heard of half of these guys and the ones I do know are way past their prime.
Charlie: Most of these guys never had a prime.
Rachel Phelps: The facts are, we lost our two best players to free agency. We haven't won a pennant in over thirty-five years, we haven't placed higher than 4th in the last fifteen. Obviously, it's time for some changes.
Board Member #2: This guy here is dead.
Rachel Phelps: [obviously...] Cross him off, then.


The Celtics did what that old guy team at the JCC does - they made extra passes. They played defense. They hustled. They made jumpers. They ran plays. Hell, even Doc Rivers (DOC RIVERS!!!!) out-coached Eric Spoelstra. The Heat ran no offense, they bitched about calls (right, Rajon?) instead of getting back on defense....it was a mess.



The Heat are a mess. I don't know if they will come back and win this series, but I really doubt that they can win a title. Even if they somehow survive Boston, they have a near impossible task looming - a veteran and four time champion Spurs team, or, and I cringe even thinking about it, a young and hungry Thunder team that is deeper and more talented and PLAYS like a team. Regardless, the Big Three in Miami are done, it's just a matter of when. Chris Bosh will get shipped out, and Lebron will continue to make excuses as to why he's unable to win a title. The only player on the Heat that deserves his due is Dwayne Wade - he's a warrior, and oh yeah, he already has a ring.

Next time you go to play some pick up hoop and you see that team of forty year old's on the other side of the gym, do yourself a favor. Go ask if they need a fifth. 

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