Tonight, I experienced real loss for the first time. My grandmother, my Nonnie died at the age of 83. In 1980, she was diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live. She looked at the doctor and told them to fuck off.
She beat cancer. She crushed it. She lived for 32 years after breast cancer tried to take her. She met her first grandson (me). She met the next four of her grandchildren. Then, she met her great grandson...my son Adam
I realize that this has very, very little to do with sports. But at this point, I really don't care. My Nonnie was a second Mother to me. If you know me, or even if you don't, you probably realize that I had an absentee Father and a mother that had to bust her ass to make ends meet. That meant that my Nonnie took us to school, took us to after school sports, and had us sleep over at her house.
I was her first grandchild. Her and I shared a special bond. Granted, she had a special bond with all of her Grandchildren, but with her and I, it was different (yes, I realize this is selfish to say). I was the first one to sleep over at her house. I was the first one to go to Mariner's Opening Day games with her in the 80's...before the game we would go to the Metropolitan Grill and have hamburgers.
How many people can say that their Grandmother never EVER missed their Little League games? How many people can say that their Grandmother showed them their first ever R rated movie? To quote my Nonnie, "It was Major League! They only said Fuck a lot! It wasn't that bad!"
When I was 13 years old, my Nonnie and Boppa took me to London and Paris as a gift to celebrate my Bar Mitzvah. I spent two weeks with them -just the three of us travelling around Europe. How many 13 year olds, let alone ANYBODY get to do that? I did - because that's how remarkable my Nonnie is and was.
The older I got - the more real she got with me. There was no bullshit. If she didn't like something, she told me. Sometimes it was mortifying. Other times, it was brilliant. But always, it was out of love. All she ever wanted was for me to be happy.
In the last six months, she simply got tired of fighting. She fought for 32 fucking years. She beat cancer, she beat radiation, she beat chemo, she beat open heart surgery, she beat countless infections, viruses and influenzas. She crushed them all. She is and was the strongest woman you would ever want to know.
Two stories about my Nonnie.
1. We were in Seaside, Oregon in November of 2005. She had stopped driving at night because her eye sight was going bad. However, because we were in Seaside, a place she had been coming to since she was a child, she decided that she wanted to drive to the movie theater.
As we were about to make the turn from Highway 101 into the Seaside theater, the light turned yellow. In most people's mind, that means "hurry up and get through the light." For Nonnie, it meant, "stop in the middle of the intersection and waver her arms and say how sorry she was for stopping in the middle of an intersection on a major highway."
2. In 2006, my wonderful cousins Ryan Sutherland and Jen (Hanan) Sutherland got married. At their wedding, the power actually went out at the venue. As our entire family sat in the darkness (eventually alleviated because somebody went and got a generator), I continued to drink beers with my cousins. Eventually, I noticed a very stern look coming from my Nonnie. I got up and walked over to her and said, "Nonnie, what's the matter?"
She tightened her lips and said, " Don't you know that your father is an alcoholic?"
"Yes," I said, "I do know that....so?
Her face contorted, "So????? You've had THREE BEERS IN THE LAST HOUR!!!!"
I was stunned....I didn't know how to reply. "Um, yes I have. But there's no need to be so negative about it," I said. "I know my Dad was an alcoholic....I'm not. I am just having beers with my cousins to celebrate Ryan and Jen. No need to be a pessimist."
She then uttered a phrase that I will never forget.
"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist. I just want you to be healthy and happy because I love you."
My Nonnie....I could not have been luckier to have you in my life for 30 years. You taught me so much, made me laugh, and helped make me the man I am today. You no longer have to fight and struggle...you can lay your head down and rest easy. You raised three amazing children, who in turn raised five amazing children of their own. The Hanan/Kraft legacy will live on because of you and your husband, my Boppa.
It's time for you to lay down your worries - rest in peace my Nonnie, I will love you and will think of you always.
She beat cancer. She crushed it. She lived for 32 years after breast cancer tried to take her. She met her first grandson (me). She met the next four of her grandchildren. Then, she met her great grandson...my son Adam
I realize that this has very, very little to do with sports. But at this point, I really don't care. My Nonnie was a second Mother to me. If you know me, or even if you don't, you probably realize that I had an absentee Father and a mother that had to bust her ass to make ends meet. That meant that my Nonnie took us to school, took us to after school sports, and had us sleep over at her house.
I was her first grandchild. Her and I shared a special bond. Granted, she had a special bond with all of her Grandchildren, but with her and I, it was different (yes, I realize this is selfish to say). I was the first one to sleep over at her house. I was the first one to go to Mariner's Opening Day games with her in the 80's...before the game we would go to the Metropolitan Grill and have hamburgers.
How many people can say that their Grandmother never EVER missed their Little League games? How many people can say that their Grandmother showed them their first ever R rated movie? To quote my Nonnie, "It was Major League! They only said Fuck a lot! It wasn't that bad!"
When I was 13 years old, my Nonnie and Boppa took me to London and Paris as a gift to celebrate my Bar Mitzvah. I spent two weeks with them -just the three of us travelling around Europe. How many 13 year olds, let alone ANYBODY get to do that? I did - because that's how remarkable my Nonnie is and was.
The older I got - the more real she got with me. There was no bullshit. If she didn't like something, she told me. Sometimes it was mortifying. Other times, it was brilliant. But always, it was out of love. All she ever wanted was for me to be happy.
In the last six months, she simply got tired of fighting. She fought for 32 fucking years. She beat cancer, she beat radiation, she beat chemo, she beat open heart surgery, she beat countless infections, viruses and influenzas. She crushed them all. She is and was the strongest woman you would ever want to know.
Two stories about my Nonnie.
1. We were in Seaside, Oregon in November of 2005. She had stopped driving at night because her eye sight was going bad. However, because we were in Seaside, a place she had been coming to since she was a child, she decided that she wanted to drive to the movie theater.
As we were about to make the turn from Highway 101 into the Seaside theater, the light turned yellow. In most people's mind, that means "hurry up and get through the light." For Nonnie, it meant, "stop in the middle of the intersection and waver her arms and say how sorry she was for stopping in the middle of an intersection on a major highway."
2. In 2006, my wonderful cousins Ryan Sutherland and Jen (Hanan) Sutherland got married. At their wedding, the power actually went out at the venue. As our entire family sat in the darkness (eventually alleviated because somebody went and got a generator), I continued to drink beers with my cousins. Eventually, I noticed a very stern look coming from my Nonnie. I got up and walked over to her and said, "Nonnie, what's the matter?"
She tightened her lips and said, " Don't you know that your father is an alcoholic?"
"Yes," I said, "I do know that....so?
Her face contorted, "So????? You've had THREE BEERS IN THE LAST HOUR!!!!"
I was stunned....I didn't know how to reply. "Um, yes I have. But there's no need to be so negative about it," I said. "I know my Dad was an alcoholic....I'm not. I am just having beers with my cousins to celebrate Ryan and Jen. No need to be a pessimist."
She then uttered a phrase that I will never forget.
"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist. I just want you to be healthy and happy because I love you."
My Nonnie....I could not have been luckier to have you in my life for 30 years. You taught me so much, made me laugh, and helped make me the man I am today. You no longer have to fight and struggle...you can lay your head down and rest easy. You raised three amazing children, who in turn raised five amazing children of their own. The Hanan/Kraft legacy will live on because of you and your husband, my Boppa.
It's time for you to lay down your worries - rest in peace my Nonnie, I will love you and will think of you always.
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